


Into the Woods

by Antares_28



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cabin Fic, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Time, Mountains, Snowed In, Strangers to Lovers, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-14 07:14:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13584990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares_28/pseuds/Antares_28
Summary: "She could remember her childhood and her parents rejecting her for being gay and her aunt and friends and being in high school and attending college and the academy before moving to Gotham City but then after that, there was nothing.A black void she had no idea if she could ever fill again."Maggie gets lost during a snowstorm, hits her head and loses her memory. Obviously, Alex is the one who rescues her.Or, the snowed in cabin fic nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here you are my new fic, folks! It's a three-chapter long story and I've already written them, I only have to update them.
> 
> I'm not so sure about it, since amnesia is a kind of clichéd them, but I hope you'll like it.  
> It's different from anything I've ever published so your opinion is very important to me.
> 
> I'd like to gift this work to ALL the amazing readers and reviewers of my other fics (above all "Redefining the Rules"). Your kind and supportive words have been so valuable and kind I could never thank you enough. You are precious and matter a lot to me!  
> I prefer not to mention you because I'm sure I'd forget someone and that wouldn't be fair to you.  
> Thank you again and enjoy this little work.

She heard the voice before she opened her eyes but it sounded so far away and she couldn’t hear it clearly; as if her own head was underwater and everything was muffled. She struggled to open her eyes and she felt something against her face but she couldn’t move. Even with her eyes closed, she felt the world spinning around her. She wanted to see who was talking to her but not more than she wanted to sleep.

She drifted away again and as she slipped back into sleep, she heard the voice once more but then it fell silent around her.

When she awoke again, she felt as if she was ready to open her eyes this time.

It took more effort than she would have thought and she struggled for a moment but she was finally able to pull the lids open. But when she blinked at her surroundings, she realized that she had no idea what she was looking at. She was somewhere. A room. And she was lying on a bed, the mattress soft beneath her and the pillow smelling faintly of lavender. She was lying on her side and in front of her, there was a small table beside the bed with a lamp and alarm clock. It took her another moment and then her eyes were finally able to focus on the green neon numbers. 3:22. She stared at the time for a moment but she had no idea what that meant.

There was a blanket covering her – soft fleece – but it was too hot and she began to kick it away from her, mumbling something even she didn’t understand.

“Don’t do that,” the voice came again, clearer than before. Soft and kind.

And then, there was a woman crouching down in front of her beside the bed. She tried to focus on her but it was as if she was moving too fast and she couldn’t see her clearly. She saw grey and blue and she felt her pull the blanket over her again.

“You have a fever,” she told her. “I know you’re hot but it’s cool in here.”

“What happened?” She was able to speak but it sounded like a mumble to her ears.

“I found you in the woods, unconscious. You hit your head on something. You probably tripped and banged it on a fallen log. I live nearby and I brought you home. You’ve had a fever for the past two days,” the woman told her.

It was too much information, however, and she felt her head begin to swirl.

“Thank… you…” she was able to murmur before slipping off into sleep again.

Her eyes fluttered open and the room around her was light. She heard a bird chirping outside. She was lying on her back this time and she blinked up to the wood ceiling above her. She slowly turned her head on the pillow, seeing the other side of the bed and the other pillow in its gray case. The bed sheets were also gray and the comforter was dark blue. She also still had the blanket over her as well. There was a square window with no curtains and through the glass, she saw nothing but the bare branches of the trees.

“You’re awake,” the woman’s voice returned and she slowly turned her head the other way to see her approach. She gave her a small smile. “Do you mind if I take your temperature?” She asked and she shook her head though she instantly regretted it. Her head was pounding with a dull continuous throb. “Whatever you hit your head on, it gave you a cut and you were bleeding. I gave you stitches.”

As if she was testing her words, she lifted her hand to her head, to the source of the pain. Sure enough, she felt the bumps of stitches on her forehead, near her hairline.

“Thank you,” she said again.

“I’m a doctor, or at least I used to be a doctor,” she then told her. “I would have taken you into town but we just got through a snowstorm when I found you and a lot of the roads are still closed. I figured they couldn’t do anything for you that I wasn’t able to.”

She blinked at her but said nothing. The woman was tall and thin with  slightly curly short auburn hair that it looked as if she continuously ran her fingers through. She seemed to be in her late twenties or maybe she was thirty. She was a very gorgeous woman. Pale skin, freckles, the biggest brownest eyes.As she got closer to her, she smelled faint lavender wafting from her. 

“Where am I?” She asked.

“Vermont,” she answered. “The nearest town is Ardmore. Do you remember being around here?” She then asked.

She was quiet for a moment, trying to think, trying to remember, but all she could concentrate on was how badly her head hurt.

In the end, she finally just shrugged, not sure of anything at the moment.

She didn’t say anything either and she held a thermometer for her to say. She opened her mouth and she slipped it in beneath her tongue. She turned and walked away and she turned her head on the pillow to see where she was going.

The room was medium size – closer to being small than being big – and she could see that it was just all one room. There was only one door to her left that was currently open and she could see a small bathroom. She had walked to the kitchen – the sink, refrigerator, oven and stove, and some counter space all lined against the wall. There was a wood table – firm and heavy – with three matching wood chairs.

She turned away from the sink and returned to her with a glass of water in her hand. She was wearing dark skinny jeans and a flannel shirt and when the thermometer beeped, she set the glass of water on the nightstand and gently pulled it from her mouth. She looked at it and she could see relief in her eyes.

“Fever’s going down,” she told her.

“Do you live here?” She asked.

She nodded. “Bought it a few months ago,” she simply said. “I’m glad I found you. I’m not used to seeing other people out here. Just the occasional hunter or experienced camper. I kind of live in the middle of nowhere.”

“You moved to live in the woods in the middle of nowhere?” She asked further though in the back of her mind, she reminded herself that it was none of her business.

“That was its biggest appeal. Do you want to sit up? Do you think you can?”

“Oh, yes,” she nodded again but she didn’t care about her throbbing head right now. She felt as if she hadn’t moved for days and her entire body felt sore and stiff.

Her hands were gentle on her as together, they pulled her into a sitting position. She arranged the pillow behind her so she was leaning against the headboard behind her and she could finally see the rest of the room – not that there was much to see. The bed was in one corner joined with the two nightstands and a dresser with a mirror. Across from her, there was a large stone fireplace, books lining the entire length of the mantel,  and a couch situated in front of it – the sort of couch that looked as if a person could sink into it quite happily. There was another end table with a lamp on it and a recliner chair but there didn’t seem to be much of anything else. The floors were wood and there were rugs situated through the room.

She looked up at her curiously but she didn’t say anything as she handed her the glass of water. She realized for the first time just how thirsty she was and she chugged most of it down, some dribbling down her chin and onto her shirt. She reached a hand down to wipe at the spot but she stopped when she saw what she was wearing. It wasn’t her shirt. It was black and this wasn’t her shirt. She looked up at her, alarm and questions in her eyes.

“Your clothes were soaking wet from lying in the snow. I had to get you out of them,” she said, reading her thoughts. “I’m a doctor. Nothing I haven’t seen before. You already had a fever and I had to make sure you didn’t get frostbite.”

She felt her heart drumming in her chest as she realized that this stranger – this pretty stranger but still a stranger – had taken her clothes off and had seen her body. She didn’t feel her bra and her cheeks exploded in red. She had seen her breasts, too. What else had she done? After she got her out of her clothes, had she done something else? She would have no idea. She couldn’t remember anything. The last thing she remembered was being in Gotham. She had no idea why she was in the Vermont woods in a cabin with a woman who claimed she was a doctor and who claimed she had found her unconscious in the woods.

And it sounded like a perfectly reasonable explanation and yet, she could no longer meet her eyes. She turned her head to look out the window so she didn’t have to look at her. She wondered when she could leave.

“Are you hungry? You weren’t able to keep anything down for the past few days,” she spoke again. “Do you think you want to try something?”

She swallowed thickly and looked to her fingers, fidgeting in her lap. Her stomach definitely felt empty and she  _ was _ hungry but… she wished she could remember what had happened; why she was out here. She slowly turned her head and lifted her eyes up to her. She was a kind man. She had taken care of her. She had found her and carried her back here and had given her stitches. She had probably held her as she threw up. Yes, she had undressed her but it was only to get her warm. She looked at her and she didn’t believe that she had taken advantage. A woman who could be around you when you threw up was a good woman. That’s what her mom would say, at referred to a man but that wasn’t the point. Not to mention, the odds of that woman being gay were very low.

“Do you think I can stand?” She asked.

She hesitated a moment, “We can try.”.

She placed the glass down on the nightstand and then together, they pulled the blankets away from her. She instantly felt the coolness of the room against her skin and she noticed the goosebumps flesh across her.

“I’ll add more logs to the fire,” she said, noticing, too. “Here, push on me,” she said, taking her hand.

She slowly swung her legs around the edge of the bed and placed her hand in hers. She felt her other arm around her waist and together, they pulled her to her feet. She felt as if she hadn’t used her legs in months and she instantly leaned into her for support. She was warm and firm and she was holding onto her strongly.

She tilted her chin up to look at her and found her eyes were settled on her.

“I’m Maggie,” she heard herself tell her in a soft voice.

She smiled faintly, as if she wasn’t sure whether she should smile or not in that moment. She had a gentle smile.

“I’m Alex,” she replied.

“Thank you for everything, Alex. I can’t thank-”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just get you better and hope the roads clear,” she said. Her eyes shifted to her forehead. “I need to clean that again,” she then murmured, more to herself, and she looked to her again. “Do you have to use the bathroom?”

She nodded and almost told her that she had to use the bathroom desperately but she stayed quiet.

Her arm was strong around her as they slowly made their way across the room.

“I’m not a great cook but I’ll get you something to eat,” she said and Maggie nodded, stepping back enough so she could close the door.

 

There was a latch lock and it was reflex more than anything that she slid it into place. The bathroom was small but it had a toilet, sink with a mirror and cabinets beneath and a shower stall. There was a towel hanging over the bar above the toilet and the stall had nothing in it except bottles of shampoo and lavender body wash .

She sat down on the toilet and relieved herself and she was surprised when she took some toilet paper, realizing that it was soft and probably three-ply. She hadn’t thought that a woman living in the middle of the woods would have such toilet paper.

Going to the sink, she nearly gasped as she looked at her reflection. Oh god, was this how death looked? Her skin was more pale than usual, her face gaunt, and there were circles beneath her eyes. Her hair was tangled and in need of a wash and she could feel the dry blood crusted near the top of her scalp. She didn’t mean to snoop but she desperately needed a brush or comb.

She opened the mirror medicine cabinet. A razor, a tube of toothpaste, a bottle of aspirin and a box of band aids. And a comb. She nearly sighed with relief when she saw it. She took it and closed the mirror again. She set the comb down for the moment and turned on the sink taps, cold and hot at the same time. There was a bar of soap and she used it, lathering it in her hands. She looked and saw Alex’s toothbrush in a cup. She had a blue toothbrush and Maggie almost felt herself smile. She was have expected it to be blue.

She gritted her teeth as she then worked the comb through her tangled hair. There were so many snarls and it was painful and she was still so tired; almost too tired to do this.

There was a soft knock from the other side of the door that startled her.

“Maggie? Are you okay?” Alex asked through the wood.

“Yes,” she responded too softly. She undid the latch and opened the door. “I’m sorry. I borrowed your comb for my hair but it’s just a mess and I can’t comb it.”

She smiled a little at her words. “It’s okay. I have that comb for company.”

It took her a moment but she realized she was joking and she smiled. She looked at her and felt her cheeks warm and she looked to the comb in her hands.

“You have done so much for me already but do you think… could you…” she couldn’t form the question but she didn’t have to. Alex seemed to know exactly what she wanted. It was almost unsettling in a way how she knew.

She reached out and took the comb from her. “You need to sit down. You shouldn’t do too much too soon. You’re still sick and weak and I need to clean your stitches.”

Maggie didn’t argue and Alex’s arm was around her again as she led her from the bathroom. Instead of the bed, however, she led her to the table and she slowly lowered herself into one of the chairs. The shirt she was wearing was large on her, the collar slipped to one of her shoulders and the hem hung down her thighs.

“Wait here,” Alex said as if she expected her to get up and run a marathon.

Maggie watched as she went back towards the bed. She opened the top drawer, pulling something out, and then went to a closet door she hadn’t noticed and pulled something out of there as well.

“Here,” she returned with a pair of wool socks and a zipped hoodie sweatshirt.

“Thank you,” she said, sounding breathless and so thankful to her own ears.

She slipped the hoodie on and was a little embarrassed when Alex dropped down. She blushed as she slid the socks onto her feet. She couldn’t remember the last time she shaved her legs. She instantly felt toasty and Alex stood up again, both smiling at one another the instant their eyes met.

She felt a clench in her stomach that she didn’t understand. Yes, Alex was gorgeous and kind and had taken care of her for the past few days when she didn’t have to but she was still a complete and absolute stranger. Maggie shouldn’t be feeling anything except gratitude towards her.

Alex came to stand behind her and then gently, so gently, she began working the comb through her hair. She would stop every time Maggie winced but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been when she had been attempting to comb it. She had never had anyone but her grandmother comb her hair before and this was one of the sweetest things  _ anyone _ had ever done for her. She felt that clench again. Alex didn’t say anything as she worked and the silence of the cabin and the silence of the outside was hurtful to her ears.

“Why did you move out here?” Maggie suddenly asked.

For a moment, she didn’t answer and continued combing and Maggie didn’t know if she would answer.

“Just wanted to get away from things for a bit,” she spoke.

That actually gave her more questions than an answer.

“What kind of doctor are you? Are you a good one?” She asked.

“I graduated from med school and started my residence in general surgery, I was good. But that was before finding out I needed a little bit of action in my life,” she said. “I had a PhD in bioengineering too and I worked for the FBI after leaving my residence program.” She fell quiet again.

“I don’t remember a lot,” Maggie blurt out. “Is that normal?”

“You hit your head. Short term memory loss would almost be expected,” Alex answered, working on a particularly stubborn snarl. “What do you remember?”

“I remember my name and birthdate and that I’m gay and how to go to the bathroom and how to eat. Things like that. But… I don’t remember a lot,” Maggie admitted. “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing in Vermont.”

“It’ll come back to you,” Alex said simply, not flinching at her mention of being gay.

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then you get to start over. Not that many people get that chance. Done,” she then said and set the comb down on the table.

Maggie’s hand instantly went to her hair and she felt the smoothness of her hair. She sighed, almost with relief. “Thank you.” She turned in the chair to look up at her. “You’ve done this before,” she guessed.

Alex smirked a little. “Never.”

“Thank you,” she said again, smiling. “Do you have a rubber band?” She asked.

Alex looked at her curiously but didn’t ask as she went towards the end table in the living area. Opening the small drawer, she sifted around for a moment and then pulled out a rubber band – the sort wrapped around newspapers.

Maggie’s thanked her again and gathered her hair over her shoulder. She began to braid it and looked around the cabin again. Alex watched her for a moment and then returned to a pot she had on the stove.

Maggie tied the braid off with the rubber band. “You don’t have much,” she stated.

Alex’s back was turned to her but she saw her shrug her shoulders. “People really don’t need that much,” she answered.

She didn’t know what to say to that. She supposed that was true. Very true.

“Do you have a phone?” She asked.

“I have a cell. Do you want to use it?” Alex opened a cabinet and pulled two heavy ceramic bowls down.

Maggie thought for a moment and then shook her head. 

“I wouldn’t know who to call.”

Alex came to the table and placed a bowl down in front of her and then one across from her at the opposite chair. “Let me know if you change your mind. I’m not holding you prisoner. I just want you to wait a couple more days until your fever is completely gone.”

Maggie nodded slightly and looked up at her again. She felt the clench in her stomach and her chest suddenly felt warm. She looked at her and she wondered how kissing her would be. Not that they would be kissing.  _ Ever _ . She was just having a moment – misplaced feelings towards a woman who had saved her. Of course she would be attracted to her in this moment.

Alex took the pot from the stove and came to the table, scooping a ladle of chicken noodle soup into Maggie’s bowl. She then went to her own bowl and scooped out two ladles.

“Let’s see if you can keep this down.”

She handed Maggie a spoon and she thanked her quietly before bringing a spoonful to her mouth, blowing on it so she wouldn’t burn her tongue.

“This is so delicious,” she said to her as she sat down across from her.

“I did my best to open the Campbell’s cans,” Alex said with a smirk and Maggie smiled faintly, taking another spoonful. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate or  _ what _ she had ate.

All she knew was this was the best chicken soup she had ever had in her life.

She couldn’t finish it though. Halfway through, she felt her eyes grow heavy and her head began to drop down. She wasn’t sure what happened but when her eyes fluttered open, her head was on a chest and Alex was carrying her in her arms back to the bed. She laid her down and slipped the covers over her and she felt as if the instant her head touched the pillow, she was asleep.

 

When she woke again, the room was dark except the fire in the hearth across the room and the lamp next to the couch turned on. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and looked to the clock next to the bed. 9:10. 

She felt so tired but she didn’t know if she could go back to sleep again at this moment. A moment later, she heard water and saw the bathroom door closed and realized that Alex was taking a shower. She laid there and listened to the dull steady rhythm of the water hitting the other side of the wall and she wasn’t sure why but it was a comforting sound to her.

She closed her eyes but did not attempt to go back to sleep. She laid there, her entire body relaxed and warm beneath the covers. She could hear the wind outside and she wondered if it was snowing again. If it was, perhaps that would mean she was stuck her for a little longer.

But stuck wasn’t the word she wanted to use. Stuck implied that she was trapped there with no exit. She didn’t have an exit at the moment but deep down, she knew she wasn’t really looking for one. She knew she would have to leave soon. Alex was a complete stranger and had done more than enough for her and she had come here for solitude and to be alone. Not to play nursemaid to some woman with no memory she had found in the woods.

She felt that perhaps, she should have been scared at how little she wanted to leave.

If she left, where would she go? She tried to remember something – anything – but the last memory, albeit a foggy one, she had was being in a restaurant. She was sitting at a table with someone but she couldn’t see a face. She could just sense she hadn’t been alone. She had no idea who they were though. She couldn’t remember anything and she tried to churn her brain; force it to remember something. She could remember her childhood and her parents rejecting her for being gay and her aunt and friends and being in high school and attending college and the academy before moving to Gotham City but then after that, there was nothing.

A black void she had no idea if she could ever fill again.

The water turned off and she couldn’t help but imagine Alex stepping from the shower, the towel wrapped around her body and water droplets running down her naked skin. She swallowed the growing dryness in her throat and did her best to ignore the clench in her stomach.

She kept her eyes closed and a few minutes later, the bathroom door opened, the light spilling over her face. She felt brave and opened her eyes again to see Alex stepping from the bathroom in yoga pants and a gray t-shirt, her hand flicking the light off.

She seemed to pause and then seeing her eyes blinking at her, Alex approached. She slowly crouched down beside the bed and their faces were nearly even. Alex felt an inching in her hand and she realized she wanted to touch her face. She buried them beneath the sheets before she could. Alex reached a hand out and with a gentle touch, she felt her stitches.

“How’s the headache?” She asked softly.

“It’s okay,” Maggie answered truthfully.

“I’ll get you some water and Aspirin. And the stomach?”

“Soup’s still in there,” she replied and Alex’s lips quirked in a smile.

The redhead left but returned with a glass of water and two white tablets. Maggie managed to push herself on her elbow and popped the pills and chased them down with the water. Alex’s hand rested on her forehead, testing the temperature of her skin.

“I think it’s gone even more down,” she stated.

Maggie laid down again but Alex remained crouching beside the bed.

“I’m scared,” she heard herself whispering.

“I won’t hurt you,” Alex began to say but Maggie shook her head, cutting off her words.

“I’m scared that I don’t remember,” she clarified. “What if I never do?”

Alex was quiet for a moment and it looked as if she was trying to think what to say. As Maggie waited, she felt herself drifting off again.

“You will,” Alex whispered to her. 

“I have a dog,” she then said. “I’ve been keeping her in the back mud room because I don’t know how you feel about dogs.”

“I love dogs,” Maggie murmured seconds before falling asleep again. She felt that Alex’s hand was still on her forehead.

 

The sunlight was pouring in through the windows and she felt it on her face. She felt a weight on the bed and for a moment, she thought that Alex was lying in bed with her but when she slowly blinked her eyes open, she saw that it was her dog; a chocolate Labrador. She smiled faintly when she looked at the dog sleeping beside her. It didn’t surprise her that Alex had a dog – especially living out in the woods like this. She could help but wonder – again – why Alex lived here like she did. She wondered what had happened that would prompt her to move into a one-room cabin in the middle of the woods. It must have been something pretty bad.

She stopped her thoughts. It was none of her business.

She heard noise from the kitchen and the dog suddenly woke up and leapt from the bed, jostling the mattress. She was able to sit up easier now and the world no longer spun around her. She smiled to herself as she realized she was feeling better.

“Hey,” Alex appeared, still dressed in the yoga pants and t-shirt, as Maggie was pulling herself from the bed. She hurried to help her. “You have color to your face again,” Alex said and Maggie lifted a hand to her cheek as if she could feel it for herself. “We got more snow again last night. I don’t know when I can get you to town.”

“I’m not in a hurry,” she said before she could stop herself. “I’m sorry. I know I must be such an annoying burden right now.”

“Not at all,” Alex shook her head. “I’ve liked the company.”

“Still, someone who lives in the middle of woods must want their privacy back. I promise. I won’t stay forever. As soon as the road clears, you can take me to town.”

Alex stared at her and again, it looked as if she wanted to say something but her eyes dulled and she seemed to decide against it.

“Do you have to use the bathroom?” She asked, instead.

Maggie nodded. “Can I try to walk myself?”

Slowly, Alex stepped away from her, her hands reluctantly dropping from her body and hanging down to her sides. Maggie’s legs felt weak but she was able to propel them forward. Slowly, she walked to the bathroom and she looked back at Alex with a triumphant smile, showing her dimples; one Alex returned with a wide one of her own.

“I was going to feed Gertrude her breakfast and then make us something.”.

“I was wondering what her name was. She’s a wonderful bed companion,” Maggie grinned, making her smile.

“Do you like milk?” Alex asked.

“I’m actually horribly allergic,” Maggie admitted, so glad she could remember that. “I’ll just have black coffee. And a bagel. If you have it.”

“You got it,” Alex agreed.

“Any chance I can take a shower?” Maggie asked, hopeful.

Alex hesitated. “Let me take a look at your stitches and maybe later, you can.”

Maggie went into the bathroom, feeling light and happy, just at the prospect.

When she came out again, Alex was at the stove and Gertrude was chowing down on her dry kibble breakfast from her food dish on the floor by the back door – which Maggie presumed led to the mud room. 

She went to the large front window in the living area and for the first time, took in the view. There was a porch with an overhang but it was bare, no chairs set out to sit on. There were thick trees everywhere and she saw Alex’s car – a black SUV – parked in front. 

The world sparkled with the fresh snow and the sun was bright, bouncing off and producing a blinding reflecting light.

Alex suddenly appeared beside her. “You okay?”

Maggie smiled and nodded, looking at her. She had her arms wrapped around her chest, hugging herself. She still wore Alex’s socks and hoodie.

“It’s so beautiful here,” she looked up at her, locking with her eyes. “I can see why you moved out there. It’s so quiet and peaceful. I love the way you live,” she then told her.

Alex seemed surprised by that. “Most people would hate it. No phone or computer, being cut off from civilization when the weather’s bad. No real amenities.”

Maggie shook her head. “It’s perfect. You’re right. People actually need very little. You have a roof over your head and indoor plumbing.” 

Alex still seemed surprised and she smiled faintly. “I’m not like most people,” Maggie then felt the need to let her know.

Alex looked at her for a moment and then shook her head, as though she found the whole conversation unbelievable and amazing at the same time. “No, you’re definitely not.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie get closer and they share some secrets from their past.
> 
> This chapter is rated M (the eventual smut is here, dudes!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the great response! I'm so glad you liked this story and I hope I won't disappoint you with this second chapter.

Alex stomped her boots on the front porch before stepping inside, immediately breathing with near relief when the warmth of the house hit her near-frozen body. She had been out there for hours, doing her best to make some progress with the shovel but there was so much of it and even though she had shoveled her SUV out, she had no idea how far it would be able to go in snow like this.

She removed her gloves and the hat from her head and her eyes fell on Maggie. She was curled on the couch, beneath a blanket, a book she had taken from the mantel open in her hands but forgotten as she napped against a pillow.

She had been here for over a week now – three of those days spent out of bed and finally getting better. Alex had carefully removed the stitches the day before and she had never seen a person so happy to take a shower. She only had shampoo and soap, no conditioner, and when Maggie had stepped out, her hair had been tangled, so Alex combed it for her again. She was certain Maggie could have done it herself and yet, there was something about her doing it. Alex found herself to rather enjoy it and that was just so far beyond her grasp of comprehension, she didn’t even bother to figure it out.

Each day, Maggie had more color in her cheeks, more brightness in her eyes.

She was gorgeous, indeed. Slim with dark skin, her huge brown eyes and those adorable dimples when she smiled. Her hair was long and dark and thick and wavy. She wore her own jeans but she wore Alex’s socks and one of her sweatshirts. She smelled sweet and Alex didn’t understand that because they were using the same body wash in the shower and she never considered herself to smell like that.

Maggie made her stomach churn and she couldn’t remember the last time a woman had been able to do that to her.

Alex had told her several times – almost as if she was reminding both of them – that when she could, she would take her back to town and Maggie always got so quiet after she said that. Alex wondered if she wanted to leave. Of course she did. Despite what she said, who wanted to live out in the woods like this in an one-room cabin? Not to mention she was a complete stranger to her. She may seem nice now but Maggie knew absolutely nothing about her. Alex could be a serial killer just biding her time.

Gertrude was sleeping on the couch with Maggie but when Alex entered the house again, the dog jumped down and rushed to greet her. Alex smiled a little, rubbing the dog behind an ear. Gertrude had practically been Maggie’s shadow over the past few days.

Upon feeling Gertrude jump, Maggie stirred and then she opened her eyes. She saw Alex at the door, hanging her coat on the hook on the wall, and she smiled faintly, pushing herself up.

“You must be freezing,” she said and then went into the kitchen. She had gotten to know where things were kept over the past few days and Alex watched as she pulled two cups down from the cabinet.

She removed her boots and left them on the mat before following, her nose catching the whiff of her scent. Her stomach felt as though it was grumbling from hunger and she couldn’t help but wonder if Maggie tasted as sweet as she smelled. The instant Alex had the thought, she felt like shit. She was a doctor and technically, this woman was her patient. She was taking care of her before she could drop her off somewhere and before that, she would do nothing but tend to her well-being.

“Hot chocolate?” Maggie asked, looking to her as she came beside her. Alex remembered when she had made her a cup a couple of days earlier. Maggie had been so surprised she had hot chocolate in her kitchen cabinet.

Alex nodded and didn’t say anything, trying her best to get control of herself again. She forced herself to talk about what neither ever seemed eager to discuss.

“I was able to get the snow clear away from my SUV,” she said and watched her closely, seeing Maggie stiffen ever so slightly at the implication. she had no desire to think about what that meant. “I’m going to head out for a little bit. See how far I can get. If I can get to town, I’ll come back and get you.”

Maggie kept her eyes down, fixated on the countertop. “Today?”

“If I can make it,” Alex nodded and did her best to swallow down the thickness of her throat. She didn’t know what the hell was going on with her. Why didn’t she want to take her to town? She had fallen into her life and had disturbed her solitude and why wouldn’t she be eager to get rid of her again?

And why the hell did Maggie seem so reluctant to leave?

She nodded but didn’t say anything for a moment. “I suppose I’ve worn out my welcome,” Maggie said.

“Not at all,” Alex was quick to disagree. Her hand lifted as if she was going to touch her but she couldn’t bring herself to and it hung in the air, useless and without purpose. If she touched her, she would probably never stop. “I like having you here.”

She didn’t believe her but she didn’t have to say anything to let her know that. She boiled water on the stove and then evenly poured it into the two waiting mugs.

Alex watched every one of her movements. Why the fuck had things gotten so complicated? Women and complications were two of the reasons why she had moved here and lived this way.

Before she could stop herself, she lifted a hand to her face. She had a beauty mark at the corner of her right jaw and Alex’s thumb swiped across it now. Maggie flinched with surprise and looked at her with wide eyes but she said nothing to stop her and Alex couldn’t seem to stop herself, either. Her skin was soft and warm.

Alex had undressed her days earlier when she had first found her and brought her home but she hadn’t looked then. She had been too far in doctor mode to notice her body. Now, she wore her sweatshirt and all Alex wanted to do was lift it up so she could study and kiss her breasts and the rest of her body. God, the things she wanted to do to her;  _ with  _ her. It gave her an ache she hadn’t had in the longest time and it made her rip her hand away suddenly as if her skin had scalded her.

Maggie was looking at her, breathing softly yet heavily, and Alex turned away. What the hell was she doing? She felt like she needed to jump into the nearest snow bank with no clothes on just to cool herself down.

“I need to go,” she said, feeling stupid and helpless.

Apparently, she needed this woman to get the hell out of her life.

“Go?” Maggie echoed the word as she went back to the front door.

Alex tugged on her boots, not lacing them, and grabbed her coat, pulling it on with movements that could only be interpreted as angry. Thankfully, she remembered to grab her keys as she opened the door.

“I’ll be back,” she said and she told herself to not look back at Maggie because if she looked back at her, she would only do something incredibly stupid – like kiss her.

 

 

The drive was treacherous. She felt the ice beneath the snow and she drove as carefully as she could, her hands never leaving the steering wheel and her eyes never leaving the road. She welcomed the bad road conditions. It gave her mind something to think of and focus on other than Maggie.

Just a week ago, her life had been quiet. Practically silent. And as she walked through the woods with Gertrude running excitedly in front of hers, she took a moment and realized that she had never been this happy. She had never been an outdoors sort of person but being in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, the air sharp and clean in her lungs and having nothing but quiet and Gertrude’s barks echoing in the sky around her, she no longer missed the sounds of the city. She could hardly remember them.

Gertrude then began barking in earnest and running ahead and Alex caught a flash of green on the ground – a strange color to see in the middle of winter. She had hurried forward, not knowing what to expect. But then she saw the young woman lying on the ground, some of the snow red with drops of blood. She didn’t even think of it twice to lift her in her arms to take her home. She may not have been practicing for a long time but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a doctor anymore. It was a reflex.

The drive was slow and she took her time but she finally arrived in town. The streets had been plowed and salted and Alex reminded herself to pick up a bag of salt from the hardware store – the pet-friendly kind that wouldn’t hurt Gertrude’s feet.

Entering the general store, she grabbed a basket by the door and went over everything she needed. She got a bottle of shampoo and matching conditioner for Maggie as well as a more sturdy comb and a toothbrush of her own. She had been using a spare one she had in the cabinet beneath the bathroom sink but the one she bought her now was green with soft bristles.

Alex had no idea why she was doing any of this. She was buying her things as if she expected her to stay; as if she  _ wanted _ her to stay. She needed to get her the hell out of her house so she could open the windows and air the room out until her scent was gone. she didn’t need to be buying things particularly chosen for her. She wanted to drop the basket and get the hell out of there but not as badly as she wanted to keep buying things for her that she thought she needed.

She threw in a pack of socks – though seeing her wear her wool socks stirred her body – and she then stopped, frowning as she looked at the packets of underwear. Just plain cotton briefs, some solid colors, some with designs. She had no idea what size she wore. She took a pack and turned it over, reading the sizes. She didn’t know her weight but she made an educated guess and threw a packet of underwear into the basket, too. On her way to the counter, she remembered she needed mouthwash and another bar of soap and she grabbed a small pack of hair rubber bands as well.

 

 

She returned to the cabin an hour later – having gone to the grocery store and hardware store as well, her backseat filled with a variety of bags.

She carried two into the house, stomping her boots again on the porch before she entered and her eyes immediately scanned for Maggie. She was sitting on the bed, her fingers curled around the edge of it, her eyes staring down at the floor.

“Hey,” Alex greeted lamely. “I brought home some stuff,” she said and immediately caught how she had said  _ home _ as if this was her home, too.

Maggie turned her head and looked at her. “I’ll help,” she said, grabbing her shoes from beside the nightstand where they had been placed.

“No,” Alex instantly shook her head. “Stay inside. You’re still recovering.”

“I’m fine,” Maggie said and moved past her without meeting her eyes.

Together, they carried bags into the house, setting them down on the table, and Alex locked the SUV and then the front door once they were both finished and inside. When she looked to Maggie, she was at the table, the pack of underwear in her hands. Alex rubbed the back of her neck – feeling too warm all of a sudden – and she slowly came to stand by her at the table. She didn’t say anything. She just looked at her with those ridiculous big doe eyes of her. How could anyone keep anything resembling a spine when she was looking at her with eyes like that?

“Are these for me?” Maggie then asked in a whisper.

“Well, they’re not for me,” Alex attempted to joke. “I was going to buy you some clothes, too, but I had absolutely no idea what to buy and-”

Suddenly, Maggie’s arms were thrown around her neck and her lips were smashed to hers. She stood on her toes to try and get closer to her and Alex wasn’t even thinking anymore. her brain, already weak, had now completely abandoned her the instant she tasted her lips. She had been right. Maggie tasted sweet. So fucking sweet. And now that she had a taste, she only wanted more like. Ant that scared her.

Maggie moaned and the second the sound hit Alex’s ears, she knew she was completely lost.

She grabbed her and hauled her against her own body. She wanted to take her to the bed and lay her down and remove the clothes, revealing every inch of skin of hers to her eyes.

Maggie’s fingers were already attacking the button of her jeans and the bed was just a few steps away but right now, it might has well have been in the next state. The couch was closer and Maggie didn’t put up an argument as Alex lifted her up. Instead, she moaned softly into her mouth, her fingers gripping her hair and her tongue assaulting hers. She was acting like a woman who wanted this.

And she would be damned sure to give it to her.

Alex dropped Maggie gently down on the couch and she was instantly grabbing for her, her fingers curled in her coat – Alex had forgotten she was still wearing it – and she placed herself on top of her. Maggie was wearing her coat, too, and Alex couldn’t touch her the way she wanted without pulling away and stripping them and though she wanted her naked, right now, she just couldn’t stand the thought of stopping this even for a second.

Their mouths met in hungry, frenzied kisses, tongues and teeth clashing, and Maggie kept moaning and now rubbing herself beneath Alex. 

Alex was losing her mind and she couldn’t take it anymore. She unzipped Maggie’s jeans and hauled them and her panties down to her knees. She then took care of her own jeans, shoving them and her boy-shorts to her own calves.

Alex touched her between her thighs and groaned into her mouth at how wet she was. If there was any lingering doubt in her mind, it was completely gone, sticky on her fingers. She caressed her, alternating soft brushes with circular motion around her clit and Maggie guided her leg between Alex’s thighs. Alex couldn’t help but moan too as Maggie grabs her hips, guiding her movement against her skin.

Maggie broke her mouth away and let out a moan when Alex swiftly entered her with a finger, sinking completely inside of her. She was so hot and tight around her, Alex had to clench her eyes to try and gain some control over the situation.

This wasn’t going to be slow and gentle. This was going to be hard and fast – this time anyway because Alex was already planning on doing this with her again.

They still wore all of their clothes, her boots still on her feet, and Alex was feeling so hot, and the fire in the hearth not helping. Maggie’s fingers gripped the back of her coat, holding onto her, as Alex began thrusting in and out while she arched her back as she moved her center against Maggie’s thigh. 

Maggie moaned and gasped in her ear and Alex breathed heavily in hers.

It was fast. Too fast. Alex wanted to stay inside of her forever but her thrusts were too hard and there was no steady rhythm and she already felt them both getting so close. She bent as Maggie lifted her hands to her hair and they kissed hungrily, lips crushing and tongues seeking. And when Maggie shattered apart, trembling and moaning, there was no way Alex could hold herself back.

 

 

For a few minutes, there was no sound other than the flames and wood cracking in the fireplace and their bodies heaving with heavy pants. Now that it was done, Alex felt the familiar guilt that usually burned her chest after sex. She had slept with the wrong people and while it was happening, it was good but it was always in the moments afterwards where she wished that it had never happened; that she had more control.

Maggie was scared and vulnerable with no short term memory and she had just fucked her on her couch. She hadn’t even done it on the bed and she was the sort of girl who didn’t fuck. She made love in a bed with slow, tender touches and soft, whispered words. And to make it even more worse – like it wasn’t bad enough – Alex was acting as her doctor. She was her patient and she had just taken complete advantage of her.

But when she lifted her head and looked at her, it was as though Maggie knew Alex was about to open her mouth to apologize and she didn’t want to hear it. Her hands cradled her cheeks gently and she lifted her head, kissing her softly on the lips.

They moved from the couch, their clothes slowly being pulled off and abandoned on the floor as they went, and they fell onto the bed together. This time, Maggie crawled down her legs and when she put her mouth on her, Alex felt as though she was melting against the mattress.

  
  
  


The cabin was completely dark. There wasn’t a moon out that night to provide some light and yet, they laid next to one another on their sides, facing one another and were able to see one another perfectly.

“Why did you move out here?” Maggie asked as if the cover of darkness had given her courage. Alex wasn’t surprised in the least by the question.

She sighed as if she didn’t want to answer though honestly, she really felt a deep connection with this stranger woman. Especially after what they had just shared together – twice – she was allowed to know a secret of her or two.

“I’m from Midvale but I lived in National City for a bit of time. As I was studying to get my PhD, my dad passed away. I was so confused and sad and lonely. I started to push my limits but… not in a good way. My whole life has always been about been perfect. Perfect grades, perfect job, perfect daughter, perfect sister. But sometimes that meant to ignore my feeling and my subconscious needs. The one part of my life that I’ve never been able to make perfect was… dating. I-I just never really liked it,” she sighed. “I… I don’t know, I mean, I-I tried, you know. I got, I got asked out,” Alex took another breath and Maggie was sensing where this rambling was leading to. “I just, I never liked… being intimate.” Alex stopped for a moment, looking right into Maggie’s eyes. She shook her head, “I just, I don’t know. I thought maybe that’s just not the way that I was built, you know? Just not my thing. But it seemed so wrong and after my whole world fell apart with my dad’s death… I just wanted to feel something, to feel loved. And I basically threw my life away. I failed my exams and spent my nights in clubs, having a lot of drunk occasional sex with stranger men. But I kept feeling nothing.” Alex could feel Maggie’s eyes on her, her fingers drawing a light pattern on her waist. “I never, I never thought it was because of the other… thing. That maybe I simply was gay. That I  _ am  _ gay.” She laughed a little and Maggie’s hand stilled. “I was totally wasted until a close friend of my father basically rescued me one night and offered me a job with the FBI. I accepted it and I was finally back in the driver’s seat of my own life. I finally embraced my new life, accepting my sexuality and I was surprised to find such a great support from both my mother and my sister. I was happy,” Alex choked her last word and Maggie tilted her head to the side, willing to know more. “I met this woman, Vicky, and we started sleeping together. At the beginning, we weren’t really anything, just bed buddies. But then I-I fell in love and apparently she reciprocated it. Well, after almost a year of living together and making plans I finally found out she had been cheating on me. For months. After that, I just had to get away. I couldn’t bear the weight of failing again. I needed space for myself.”

“That’s terrible,” Maggie said softly. Alex didn’t disagree. “So you moved back across the country and bought a cabin in the middle of the woods to get away from the world?”

“And it was working just fine until some girl had passed out in my woods,” Alex said and she laughed softly, making her smile.

Maggie moved closer to her and Alex draped her arm over the dip of her hip, inching closer to her, too. Alex had never realized just how long it had been since she had physical human contact. Maggie was warm and soft and she didn’t want either of them to leave that bed anytime soon.

“I was a detective in Gotham City, I went to college and to the Academy. I’ve always wanted to help people, especially the weaks. I was one of them, once.” Maggie took a deep breath. Alex thought she should have felt the same level of intimacy and trust, since she was opening herself. “ I was born in Blue Spring, Nebraska. When I was fourteen years old, I told a girl from school I liked her and my parents found out  and I came home that day… It was winter, and my dad was there with my suitcase and he told me to go the car and we drove in silence for so long. I just kept staring out the window, looking up the icicles on the trees. I was terrified to say anything but finally I asked him what did I do wrong and then he just looked at me with such contempt. He said I shamed him and my family and he pulled up to my aunt’s house and left me there with my suitcase,” Maggie trailed off. “It was a long time ago. I still don’t remember anything else, though.”

Alex lifted a hand to her face, brushing hair back. “I’m sorry about that.” Maggie was quiet and Alex brushed her lips across her forehead, her hand cupping the back of her head. “And you’ll remember. One day, you’ll wake up and suddenly, it’ll just be there and you’ll remember everything.”

“And if it doesn’t?” She looked at her with those eyes that made Alex feel powerless.

Alex had always had to be in control of every single facet of her life – especially over her body. But it felt as if Maggie had woken up from her fever in her bed, she had no idea what was going on and instead of scaring her or pissing her off, she found that she kind of liked it. And she knew that it was only because of Maggie. If it had been anyone else out in the woods, she would have already dropped them off in town.

“I bought you underwear and socks,” Alex told her softly. “You can stay until your memory comes back.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Maggie asked, her voice soft, just above a whisper.

“I bought you underwear and socks,” Alex repeated.

Maggie smiled faintly and her hand slipped onto the back of Alex’s head. She moved in and kissed her lightly. “What if my memory never comes back?” She then asked and she sounded scared but whether it was the idea of her never remembering or what her answer would be, Alex wasn’t sure.

She didn’t say anything. She rolled Maggie onto her back and placed herself above her and she sank down, molding her mouth to hers.

“How old are you?” Maggie murmured against her lips.

“Twenty-nine,” she answered. “What about you?”

“Thirty,” she replied and then pulled her down again.

 

 

Another week passed. They slept together every night. During the day, Maggie read, working her way through the books Alex had on the fireplace mantel and she and Gertrude

went for walks as they did every day. They made meals together and one day, they had been in town together, getting some things when Maggie had seen a chess set for sale at the general store. After she found out Alex could play, she wanted her to teach her how. Alex bought the set and every evening after dinner, they played a few games in front of the fire. Maggie wasn’t that good despite her instruction and she laughed at how badly she was as Alex snatched her king and won yet again and she smiled, wondering how she had survived this long in solitude without her laugh.

They had bought Maggie a few clothes but not too much and Alex supposed in the back of both of their minds, they were both wondering how long she would be staying.

Maggie liked wearing Alex’s flannel shirts and wool socks and she hummed as Alex combed her hair every morning and loved drinking a mug of hot chocolate before bed. Maggie cuddled each night with her and her head found a resting place on Alex’s chest no matter the position they had each fallen asleep in.

Alex laid there, her arm around her, fingers playing with the end strands of her hair and she listened to her breathe softly and the quietness of the night and it felt as if she had always been there; not just for a few weeks.

Alex found herself sending out a silent, selfish wish that she never got her memory back. When Maggie did, if she did, she would leave and Alex knew, right now, neither of them wanted her to. But she also knew that Maggie was staying because she was scared and didn’t know where else to go. And who was she to keep her when her memory returned? Maggie had had a life before she found her and it was a life she probably wanted to get back to.

Alex had meant what she had told her a couple of weeks earlier. Most people wouldn’t like this life. Yes, Maggie liked it – so far – but it would lose its appeal. Alex was sure of it. She would miss civilization soon enough – television and the internet – and she would probably leave with or without her memory. Alex tried not to think about that though or the growing dry cotton ball at the base of her throat that wouldn’t disappear no matter how many times she swallowed.

She tried not to think about how attached she had gotten to her over just a few weeks.

She told herself that she was crazy and what she was feeling was just in the heat of the moment of things. She had enjoyed being alone before Maggie appeared and she would enjoy being alone again once she had left.

Maggie stirred beside her and Alex couldn’t help but hold her a little tighter.

It was crazy, of course, and she told herself this again and again. She had just met her. She learned something about Maggie every day but she was still a stranger. Wasn’t she?

She thought of National City and she hadn’t thought of it in months. Moving out here had achieved that for her. She had moved out here to forget. About Vicky and the cheating and her dad’s death. She even thought of Kara for a fleeting moment but all of that and all of those people, it had been another life. The life she had had before she left and started living this one. She remembered what she had told Maggie. If she couldn’t remember, she could start a new life.

Maybe… maybe she could start one with her.

The thought made her clench her eyes shut because she didn’t know where it had come from and it wasn’t her sort of thought at all. The old her, anyway, never would have had such a thought.

 

 

“I will say this,” Maggie said one day, coming out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body and her wet hair dripping on the floor. “I wish you had a bathtub.”

Alex bit her tongue, almost saying something she knew she would instantly regret.

_ Maybe you have a bathtub back in Gotham _ .

But she knew that the instant she said those words, Maggie would be hurt and she wouldn’t be able to take them back and she didn’t even mean them anyway.

Alex was sitting in her recliner, reading a book – or rather pretending to – when Maggie came to stand in front of her. Alex looked at her standing there in her towel as if she was a nymph who had just stepped from the water. Her heart drummed in her chest and she wondered, for the countless time, what the hell this woman was doing to her. Deep down, whatever it was, she knew she liked it. And even deeper than that, she knew she didn’t want it to stop.

Alex set her book aside and leaned forward, grasping Maggie’s hips, pulling her forward until she was sitting in her lap, straddling her thighs, and they kissed one another deeply as Alex gently pulled the towel from her body.

 

 

Alex was fixing herself a sandwich at the kitchen counter when she caught Maggie standing from the corner of her eye. She turned and looked at her, smiling a little because she seemed so nervous, and she suddenly was clasped with the fear that maybe she could remember things now.

“What is it?” Alex managed to get out.

Maggie was fiddling with her fingers and her face was turning red. “I, um, I’ve been here for a few weeks now and I…”

Alex felt her heart stop momentarily in her chest, already having an idea what she was going to say next.

But then she blurted out, “I need a box of tampons.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, it taking that long for her words to register in her head, and when they did, she broke out into a wide grin. Then, without saying anything in response, she surged forward and kissed her hard.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie gets her memory back. And is this really going to change everything?
> 
> (Slight M-rated chapter).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this story. I hope I won't disappoint you!  
> This is my favorite chapter and I'm eager to know what you think about it as well.  
> Enjoy and thank you again for your GREAT support!

There was a small mud room attached to the back of the cabin. Alex had a stacked washer/dryer unit, Gertrude’s dog bed – which she hardly ever used – a small space heater and the generator – in case the weather got to be too bad and she lost power.

Maggie hummed to herself as she moved the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer. Alex told her that she didn’t have to do laundry but she ignored her.  The least she could do was wash the towels. Alex had taken Gertrude and they had gone on their daily walk. Maggie had asked her once where she walked but she just shrugged and said the woods were huge. She walked wherever she wanted and Maggie loved the freedom of just the idea of that.

Emily had tried to get her to go running with her and she went a few times but she hated just running in a circle on the path around the park near their apartment but to walk wherever she wanted in woods like this, it would be different every day.

Maggie gasped so sharply, she nearly choked on the mouthful of air.

_ Emily _ .

Emily. She hadn’t thought of her in weeks. She hadn’t been able to. She hadn’t remembered her.  But now, she was as clear as if she had only seen her yesterday.

Alex had told her it might happen like that. One moment, she would have no memory and then,  _ poof! _ , the next moment it would just appear and standing in the mudroom, she suddenly was flooded with memories of Emily. Her fiancée. Oh my god, that was right. She had a fiancée. She was getting married in a few months.

Oh god, she had a fiancée.

Maggie felt a burning in the back of her throat.

_ Alex _ .

Maggie felt a stinging in her eyes and she took a step back, clenching them shut, knowing that any second now, she was going to start crying. Her memory had returned and now, more than anything, she wished it had remained in the dark.

_ Alex _ . She couldn’t stop thinking of her name. But each time she thought of Alex’s name, she thought of Emily’s.

Shouldn’t she be happy? She had just gotten her memory back. She could remember things. Ask her a question and she could provide an answer without struggle. But with those memories, she felt her chest collapse. Alex. Oh god, Alex. She had a fiancée and she had to let Emily know that she was alive. She was probably so worried and had been searching for her all this time.

The tears escaped and slid down Maggie’s cheeks. But Alex. How could she leave Alex? In the past few weeks, it was as if they had been living in their own little world out here in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, and she didn’t want to leave. Maggie didn’t want to leave this world or her but she had to. How could she stay? She was engaged. Emily was probably crazy with worry and Alex would probably be happy to have her solitude back. She had always said she would return her to town when she got her memory back.

She heard the front door of the cabin open and Alex and Gertrude came inside. Maggie wiped at her cheeks but it didn’t help. As soon as she cleaned the tears away, more were quick to fall.

Gertrude found her – not that there were many places to hide in an one-room cabin - and she wagged her tail, her tongue panting from her mouth, and she nudged at her with her snout.

“Hey,” Alex appeared in the doorway of the mud room.

She was smiling but it faded as she saw that she was crying. Looking at her only made Maggie cry harder. In that instant, she knew, without a doubt. She had fallen in love with her.  There had been passing thoughts of it over the past few weeks but she had always shaken her head at herself. People didn’t fall in love in such a short amount of time and she had tried to tell herself she was being crazy.

But now, looking at her, Maggie knew without a doubt that she was in love with this woman. Even with Emily clear in her mind again, she was so madly in love with Alex, more than she had ever been in love with Emily.

“Mags, what is it?”

She came to her and her hands rested on her arms. She looked worried and her brow was crickled and she was frowning and Maggie looked up at her, wanting to memorize everything about her because she didn’t know if she would ever see her again. Probably not. She had a fiancée. Just the word made her stomach churn – and not in the way that Alex always made her stomach clench and flip.

She sniffled and did her best to stop crying. “Can I use your cell phone?”

Alex couldn’t hide her surprise. “Of course,” she nodded. “Do you finally remember something?”

Maggie nodded. 

“I have to call my fiancée,” she whispered.

Alex’s hands were instantly gone, dropping from Maggie as if she was on fire and she had just given her third degree burns. She took a step back from her and she stared at her silently. Maggie closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath and tried to collect herself while all she felt like doing in that moment was crumbling.

When she looked at Alex again, she couldn’t hide the stricken look from her eyes. It was as if Maggie had just slapped her and she supposed she had.

“Her name is Emily,” she began.

Alex shook her head, taking another step back. “I don’t think I want to hear this.”

Maggie ignored her and continued. “I met her one day at the café where I used to get my coffee and we got engaged a few months later. She wanted to get married right away but I couldn’t pick a date. We fought about it a lot.”

Alex was looking anywhere but her as Maggie continued, never taking her eyes off of her.  She had to tell her all of this. Now that she knew, she wanted her to know.

“We had a fight one day at lunch. She said I didn’t want to get married and I told her that I did but she wanted this huge ceremony and I just wanted something small. She accused me to be insensitive and hard-headed. Not to mention, she complained about me being obsessed with work . As though be a cop was just like a normal job. We couldn’t seem to ever compromise. I got in my car and drove. I just drove without a destination. I sometimes do that. Driving is so freeing to me. I wound up in Vermont. I remember it was late and I had stopped somewhere to eat. I left my cell in the car, it was completely dead. When I came out again, I saw all of these shooting stars and I started walking, completely mesmerized by them. They reminded me of Nebraska. I had been living in Gotham for so long, I had almost forgotten about the stars. I was walking and walking, just trying to cool down and trying to figure out what to do with Emily. When I finally noticed my surroundings again, I was in the woods and I had no idea where I had come from. I was completely lost. And the next thing I remember, I woke up here.”

Alex still wasn’t looking at her. Without a word, she turned and walked towards the bed. She pulled something out of the nightstand drawer and then returned to her. Maggie felt frozen to her spot in the mud room. Alex extended her hand out, holding her cell phone.

“She’s probably worried sick about you. I should have taken you to town as soon as you were better,” she then said more to herself and turned away again.

Maggie watched as Alex went to the front door of the cabin and stepped out, shutting it behind her.  She felt a fresh batch of tears in her eyes as she dialed Emily’s number, remembering it perfectly.

Alex was standing on the front porch, her hands in her heavy coat pockets, staring straight ahead, when Maggie came out again nearly twenty minutes later. Her eyes were red and they ached from crying so much in such a short amount of time. Alex still wouldn’t look at her.

“She didn’t even report me missing. She had called a few times but just figured either I was pissed and needed to blow off steam, or got busy with a case at the precinct. She was giving me space. She only came around last week looking for me.”

Maggie could see Alex’s jaw clench so tightly, the muscles in her face twitched.

“She’s coming to get me. I told her to meet me at Joe’s in town. She won’t be there for a few hours but I could go and sit and wait. Could you… could you drive me there?” Maggie nearly choked on the request.

She didn’t want to leave her but she couldn’t tell her that. Alex would never let her stay and she knew she couldn’t. She had to go back to Emily and her life before all of this happened.

“Yeah,” Alex finally spoke, her eyes still staring straight ahead.

Maggie swallowed and wanted to yell at her to look at her but she couldn’t do that either. She wanted to talk with her.  She had gotten her memory back and according to her, it was time for her to leave. Wasn’t that what Alex had been saying to her? Shouldn’t she be relieved that she was about to return to her life as a near-hermit?

Maggie turned and went back into the cabin, reluctantly gathering the things that had become hers over the past few weeks. Her socks and underwear, what little clothing, and her toothbrush. She left everything else. She put on her coat and boots and hat and hugging everything in her arms, she went to the door again. Gertrude came to her, beginning to whine as if she knew that Maggie was leaving and wasn’t coming back.

Maggie did her best to smile a little and she lowered herself in front of the dog. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her face against the side of her neck.

“Take care of her,” she whispered to the dog and then kissing her head, she stood up and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her for the final time.

“Ready?” Alex asked and without waiting or looking back at her, she took her keys from her pocket and heading towards the SUV, snow crunching beneath her feet.

Maggie walked slowly as if she was walking to be beheaded.

The drive to town was absolutely silent. Maggie kept glancing at Alex but her eyes were straight ahead on the road and she could see the tension of her body beneath her coat. Just last night, they had been lying in bed together and Maggie had run her lips everywhere on her body that she desired, her hands following close behind. She had never seen a more beautiful body and when she had told her that, Alex laughed.

There were a few places to eat in town but Joe’s was the largest. 

Alex pulled into a parking spot in front of the restaurant. “There you go,” she said.

Maggie looked at her and wanted to thank her.  Alex had saved her life and a thank you for everything she had done for her didn’t seem sufficient in the least.

“I love you,” Maggie whispered softly before could hold the words back but as soon as she said them, she knew she didn’t want to keep them in. Her aunt had always said that life was too short and if you loved someone, you should let them know. “I love you so much, Alex,” she said a bit louder, a bit more confident this time.

Alex didn’t look at her but she smirked, shaking her head slightly. “You don’t love me, Maggie. You just think you do because I was there when you woke up.”

Maggie had her heart broken only once, when her parents had kicked her out. And she immediately recognized it the instant it happened. She could feel it shatter within her chest and drop into a million pieces, all falling to her feet and there would be no way she would be able to find them all again to even try and begin to put it all back together.

She felt fresh tears sting her eyes but she didn’t want to cry in front of Alex.  It wouldn’t matter. Alex wouldn’t care. She was probably only too happy to drop her off here and get rid of her for good. She had disturbed her life for long enough.

Maggie had thought that maybe,  _ maybe _ , Alex loved her, too. The way she looked at her or smiled or held her and ran her fingers through her hair, she had thought…

She had thought something very stupid, apparently.

She opened the door of the SUV, clutching her few belongings to her chest. “Goodbye,” she whispered to her, not looking at her again and Alex wasn’t looking at her either, and then she shut the door behind her and she was gone.

 

 

 

Alex had opened all of the windows despite the frigid temperatures outside in an attempt to air the room out and she had washed the bed sheets and towels, too. Nothing seemed to help though. Maggie’s scent was permeated in everything. Alex couldn’t even lay on the couch or sit on the recliner without thinking of her warm, soft body and smelling her sweet scent.

She couldn’t open the kitchen cabinets and refrigerator without thinking of her. The box of hot chocolate mix and the jar of blueberry jam she loved to have on her bagel for breakfast every morning and box of raisins on the counter. Alex had never met anyone who had loved raisins but she did. She loved munching on them as Alex kicked her ass at chess – the chess set now on the top shelf of her closet.

Trying to sleep at night was the worst and she had actually gone to the general store so she could buy a bottle of sleeping pills to help put her to sleep. She was a doctor and was used to running on very little sleep but she needed at least a couple of hours each night and Maggie was taking that from her. 

She went on her walks every day with Gertrude and she tried her hardest to keep Maggie from her thoughts while she was out here. Maggie couldn’t have her here and Alex pleaded with her to give her just a few hours away from her. Maggie never seemed to listen though and she had embedded herself so far inside of Alex, there was no way of digging her out and tossing her away.

Alex didn’t want to.

And she felt like she should be pissed at herself for that. Maggie was gone. She was never coming back and she was never going to see her again. And why should she come back? She had told her she loved her and Alex had basically scoffed at her words. She had left and was now back in Gotham and was probably days away from getting married to a woman who wasn’t her.  Maybe Maggie would look back on her days here, keeping a few memories tucked away for just herself, and she would remember the cabin and the woman in the woods and maybe, someday, far off from now, she would even be able to smile a little when she thought of her. 

Alex sighed heavily. Maggie had told her she loved her and she had tried to shake it off because how could she love her? She had a fiancée she was returning to. So Alex had told her she didn’t and drove away before she could watch her walk away. She didn’t dare tell Maggie that she loved her, too, because what good would it have done? Maggie was returning to her life and she was returning to hers and these past few weeks, they had been amazing – the best weeks of her life – and she would always remember them.

Alex loved her. She had finally admitted it to herself a few days ago. She had never been in love before. Had thought herself to be a few times but it had never been true. With Maggie, falling in love with her, she knew that it had been the real thing. They had been in bed and she was sitting up, reading a book, the lamp next to the bed the only light for probably miles, and Alex had been resting her head on her chest, dozing. Maggie had her arm around her shoulders and Alex had her arms around her waist and she fell asleep wrapped in her embrace. And she knew that she loved her and if she could do this every night for the rest of her life, it still wouldn’t be enough.

But Alex kept it inside, not wanting to tell her or scare her and then Maggie had told her she loved her and her timing was fucking impeccable because she had her memory back and was going back to her fiancée. Alex was glad she never told her her feelings.

Ahe whistled to Gertrude when the dog got too far ahead of her and she obediently turned and trotted back to her. At least she had Gertrude. She wasn’t completely alone because now that Maggie had been there and had left again, Alex realized just how alone she truly was. And she had used to crave being alone more than anything. Now, she wanted her to be alone with her and that was never going to happen.

She and Gertrude began heading back towards the cabin and as they got closer, through the trees, she could see another car there, parked behind her SUV. She frowned, trying to see if she recognized it or the driver.

As she got close enough, the driver’s door opened and Alex came to an abrupt halt.

Gertrude let out a happy bark and went tearing ahead and Maggie laughed softly, rubbing the dog behind her ears as she greeted her. Alex didn’t move; couldn’t move. Maggie lifted her eyes and saw her frozen a few feet away from her. She began fidgeting with her fingers through her gloves– a sign Alex had come to know as her being nervous.

Maggie took a step towards her and then stopped herself. “I wasn’t sure if I should come. If you even  _ wanted _ to see me again and I told myself that coming here was just going to be a waste and my heart would somehow break even more but I had to see you.”

Alex didn’t say anything. There were words clumped in her throat but none were able to make an escape. She could only stare at her.

Maggie was wearing a red wool toggle coat with a hood with a thick black scarf and matching black beanie cap on her head. Her gloves though didn’t match and were the gloves Alex had bought for her once at the general store. They were purple and Maggie had peppered her face with kisses as if Alex had bought her a diamond.

“I’m not married,” Maggie then blurted out. “I… I went back with Emily but… The girl who loved her left the city and the girl who came back, she had fallen in love with someone else. More than she ever loved Emily.”

Alex finally took a step towards her and then another. She still didn’t know what to say. She could only stare at her. She was really here.

“I love you, Alex,” she said. “I love you, too,” she was finally able to admit it without hesitation or doubt and what more did she have to say besides that?

The instant her words hit Maggie’s ears, tears flooded in her eyes and she smiled the most beautiful smile Alex had ever seen. God, she loved those dimples. Alex  closed the distance between them and then Maggie was in her arms and her lips were on hers and she felt like she could breathe again.

They kissed one another until Maggie pried her lips back, laughing softly. Alex didn’t let her go and her arms only tightened around her as her lips began kissing Maggie’s throat.

“Emily actually took it quite well. I think me being gone for nearly five weeks showed us both just how little she actually cared. She’s actually taking care of the rest of my stuff for me so I don’t have to worry,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady as Alex sucked gently on her skin.

“Stuff?” That got Alex’s attention and she lifted her head.

Maggie smiled up at her and nodded. “I have three bags in my backseat. I went through my entire apartment and went through everything and decided what I  _ really _ needed and couldn’t live without. That was all I brought with me. My life is in those three bags. Do you think you would mind adding three bags?”

Alex didn’t even humor that ridiculous question with a response.

She finally broke away from her and went to the back door of her car. She took one bag – which looked to be the lightest – and handed it to her before taking the other two for herself to carry.

“I also stopped at sheriff’s office before coming here,” Maggie informed her as they went into the cabin.

It smelled like wood and pine and the faintest whiff of popcorn and the instant it all hit Maggie again, she took a deep breath of it. She had missed it so much. And the quiet. Oh god, the quiet. Her first few nights, being away from the quiet and Alex, she hadn’t been able to sleep. The noise of the city hurt her ears.

“Why?” Alex went to drop the two bags on the bed.

“Because I wanted a job and the sheriff gave me one. I start in a couple of days,” she said. Alex looked at her, clearly a little confused. She smiled. “I know you said you have money but that money won’t last forever and I practically just invited myself to live with you. I need to support myself.”

Alex laughed and shook her head, going to her, her hands beginning to undo the toggles of her coat and then lowering the zipper. 

Then, she lowered her lips to Maggie’s and her hands pushed her coat off her shoulders and her own fingers began unzipping Alex’s coat.

They undressed one another of all of their layers and when their naked skin finally pressed together, both sighed with relief. It was so cold outside but the fire was large in the hearth and the heater was also on, churning throughout the small room but Maggie still shivered as if she was cold.

Alex had set her bags on the bed, taking up one side, and Maggie laid her down on the other, not wanting her body away from hers and covering her body with hers. Their lips hardly parted and her fingers were running everywhere over her body that she could reach. Maggie dropped a hand down to her hip and Alex parted her thighs and then Maggie was thrusting her fingers inside of her, both of them letting out quiet moans of pleasure.

Maggie made love to her slowly, taking her time; having all of the time in the world now. When Alex started touching Maggie too, she listened to her moan and gasp and breathe her name and they couldn’t stop kissing each other.

Just that morning, Alex had woken up, alone and trying to resign herself to the fact that she would always be alone. And a few weeks ago, before Maggie, being alone was all she had wanted to have.

Maggie couldn’t stop kissing her and touching her and she almost wanted to cry because she was back here and Alex loved her back and she thought she would never see her again. In the week she had been gone, she tried to tell herself that she would never see her again. She had only been back one day before she broke things off with Emily. She didn’t love her.  Maybe she had, once, but what she had felt for Alex in this cabin was more than she had ever felt. Any emotion she had ever gone through was trumped for this love she felt towards her. 

She told herself to try and continue on with her life but she wasn’t sure how she could do that. She looked around her apartment and saw all of the unnecessary stuff she owned. She looked out her windows and there were too many people and too much noise and she felt – more than once – that she could no longer breathe.

And at night, it was the worst. She couldn’t sleep and if she did manage it, she dreamt only of Alex. When it had just been them, she had thought that maybe, Alex loved her as she loved her.  A woman couldn’t look at another woman the way Alex had looked at her sometimes and not love her. It was only after she got her memory back that she shut completely down and who could blame her?

As Maggie went through her things and packed her bags, she thought of only Alex and returning to the cabin and she hoped that she would want her to be there.

And the way she was moving under her and within her, she definitely wanted her there. Alex whispered in her ear that she loved her and Maggie held her tight and whispered back to her that she loved her, too.

Hours later, it was late but both were too wired to sleep. Alex sat on the bed in a flannel and Maggie stood beside the bed in one of her t-shirts and pair of wool socks. Alex couldn’t help but smile because that was it. This was her life now.

“These two are mostly clothes,” Maggie said, dropping two of the bags onto the floor. The third, however, she pulled the zipper down and opened it. “Now, don’t you dare make fun of me for this one.” She pulled out a little bonsai. “I love bonsais, and I have this one since college,” she said and Alex grinned at that. “I also brought a few pictures and my favorite books and this…” she then pulled out a small portable speaker and then her iPod.

“Fancy,” Alex teased.

“I love music and it was really the only thing I missed while out here.” She then paused, looking at her.  “Is it okay if I brought this?”

“Mags,” Alex began to say and looked at her and shook her head, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “It’s your home, too.”

Maggie looked at her once she said those words and she gave her a small smile, feeling like crying all over again.  _ Home _ . For the first time since her parents rejected her, she felt as if she finally found something and belonged somewhere and it was this woman in front of her. They could live in a trailer or a cabin or a high rise in the city. As long as they were living in it together.

For the first time in a week, when they slipped beneath the covers of the bed and turned off the lamp, they were both able to fall asleep within minutes.

 

 

 

Alex woke the next morning to a bird chirping outside and the sun just beginning to rise, the sky pink with dawn. She rolled her head on the pillow to see Maggie but she frowned the instant she saw that she wasn’t in bed with her.  She sat up, scanning the room but she wasn’t anywhere. She looked to the bathroom but it was dark and the door was open.

“Mags?” She called out, rubbing the heel of her hand in one of her hands.

She noticed that Gertrude was gone, too.

She got from the bed and first went to the small closet, grabbing one of her sweaters and tugging it one over her head. She didn’t feel panicked. She knew she was still there. She could feel her. She noticed the quilt on the back of the couch was missing and she went to the front door, opening it.

And there she was. Standing on the front porch with the blanket wrapped around her, Maggie was watching the sun rise as Gertrude ran throughout the trees in front of the cabin, on the hunt for something.

Maggie smiled as she felt a pair of warm, strong arms wrap around her from behind and she nestled her back against Alex’s chest, snuggling into her warmth.

“Looks like we might have squirrel for dinner if Gertrude catches it,” she said, only half-joking.

“A welcome home feast,” Alex smiled against her ear and Maggie laughed softly. She kissed the small beauty mark at the corner of her jaw and held her tighter in her arms.

They were quiet for a few minutes, watching Gertrude and watching the sun rise. It was freezing and they both knew they should go inside but neither made the suggestion.

“Home,” Maggie whispered.

Alex hugged her tighter to her, not prepared to let her go anytime soon. “Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you like to read an epilogue, maybe?


End file.
